Dark darker yet darker remix12/23/2023 I wish my brother had died at the beginning of a month, where the rest of that month is the post-day and the anticipation period barely exists. I know when it finally comes I can somewhat relax into the routine of that day - the phone calls, the pictures, the want to be alone - and yet the anticipation unnerves me. The anticipation of this day is a twang in my side. They continue all month, peppering my inbox like the acupuncture needles that hit on something sensitive and twang your arm or leg, making you jump. The emails start coming on June first, anticipating his memorial day. My brother died 11 years ago at the very end of June. It will be back next year but will hold me with less urgency. July begins, and the hand that clenches the heart in my chest loosens and disappears. The Autostraddle Encyclopedia of Lesbian Cinema.LGBTQ Television Guide: What To Watch Now.
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